Carrying a Double Burden: ADHD, Racial Trauma, and Antiracist Care for People of Color

People of color who have ADHD often carry a double burden: managing a neurodevelopmental condition while navigating a world shaped by racism. Racial trauma, microaggressions, and systemic violence place a constant cognitive and emotional load on BIPOC individuals with ADHD. Chronic stress can worsen ADHD symptoms such as distractibility, impulsivity, and emotional overwhelm.  

State violence, white supremacy, and police brutality leave deep imprints on the nervous system. Constantly scanning for danger, processing the threat of discrimination, or witnessing harm to others creates ongoing stress that can amplify ADHD symptoms like overwhelm and dysregulation. This kind of chronic physiological stress doesn’t stay in the mind alone; it lives in the body, shaping how people breathe, sleep, and regulate emotions in everyday life.  

Mental health care for neurodivergent people of color must be explicitly antiracist and culturally humbleAntiracist care recognizes how racism affects not just identity but physiology. At Sakura Counseling, we do not pathologize stress reactions to racist and harmful power structures and systems. Culturally humble care seeks to understand each person’s unique personal and cultural background and perspective.  

Kirmayer (Kirmayer, 2012) writes about how cultural humility and cultural safety are an “an added critique of cultural competence.” This refers to mental health care providers’ understanding of cultural knowledge and respect and reception towards clients’ worldview, voice, and frameworks informing their realities. Clinicians hold a responsibility to acknowledge structural violence and provide “safe clinical encounters.” Cultural safety is “striving towards the absence of cultural bias and any form of racism” (Konidaris & Petrakis, 2025). Kirmayer [42] describes that “cultural safety ‘moves beyond the concept of cultural sensitivity to analyzing power imbalances, institutional discrimination, colonization and colonial relationships as they apply to health care (National Aboriginal Health Organisation, 2008, p. 3)’”. 

Possessing humility, self-reflexivity, and an understanding of both culture and race and understanding of its dynamic impact on mental health, is a shared responsibility between culturally diverse communities and mental health clinicians. Jackson and Samuels (2011) write about cultural attunement in mental health care and social work practice with multicultural communities, stating that “Attunement requires one’s ‘cultural humility’ and awareness and acknowledgement of individual and group based experiences of pain and oppression (Hoskins, 1999).”  

Clinicians hold a responsibility to engage in critical self-reflection and critical self-reflexive processes in their culturally attuned work with clients. Cultural safety is reliant upon therapist’s ability to center their clients’ values, self-efficacy, and self-determination. For BIPOC individuals and couples with ADHD, this means support that validates their experiences of racial trauma, honors their cultural strengths, and collaborates with them on tools that feel empowering rather than pathologizing or prescriptive. When care embraces both justice and neurodiversity, it helps people not just manage symptoms, but build resilience, safety, and connection in a world that still has a long way to go. 

Sources 

Dean R. The Myth of Cross-Cultural Competence. Fam. Soc. J. Contemp. Soc. Serv. 2001;82:623–630. doi: 10.1606/1044-3894.151. 

Kirmayer L.J. Cultural competence and evidence-based practice in mental health: Epistemic communities and the politics of pluralism. Soc. Sci. Med. 2012;75:249–256. doi: 10.1016/j.socscimed.2012.03.018. 

Kirmayer L.J. Rethinking cultural competence. Transcult. Psychiatry. 2012;49:149–164. doi: 10.1177/1363461512444673. 

Konidaris M, Petrakis M. Cultural Humility Training in Mental Health Service Provision: A Scoping Review of the Foundational and Conceptual Literature. Healthcare (Basel). 2025 Jun 4;13(11):1342. doi: 10.3390/healthcare13111342. PMID: 40508955; PMCID: PMC12155312. 

Hook J.N., Davis D.E., Owen J., Worthington E.L., Jr., Utsey S.O. Cultural Humility: Measuring Openness to Culturally Diverse Clients. J. Couns. Psychol. 2013;60:353–366. doi: 10.1037/a0032595. 

Jackson K.F., Samuels G.M. Multiracial competence in social work: Recommendations for culturally attuned work with multiracial people. Soc. Work. 2011;56:235–245. doi: 10.1093/sw/56.3.235. 

ADHD, Neurodiversity, and Co-Parenting: Navigating Partnership in Mixed Neurotype Relationships

Couples and families are beautifully diverse, shaped by culture, identity, lived experience, and the many ways our minds work. For couples where ADHD is part of the relationship, and for those who are co-parenting, there are often shared strengths and challenges that show up across different backgrounds and family structures.  

ADHD can bring creativity, intuition, humor, and deep care for one another, while also introducing difficulties with communication, organization, or emotional regulation. In ADHD couples and mixed-neurotype partnerships, one partner may be higher functioning than the other, and this can create dynamics that look like parent-child dynamic, or one in which one partner is excessively helping, heading on a path to potentially burning out and/or becoming resentful toward their partner.  

For neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, gender-expansive, and multicultural couples, these dynamics may be layered with additional contexts such as navigating systems not built with your family in mind, honoring multiple identities, and creating family norms that reflect who you truly are. Understanding the common patterns that arise supports deeper connection, mutual respect, and a sense of belonging. With compassion and curiosity, couples can build relationships and co-parenting partnerships that are affirming, sustainable, and uniquely their own. 

Helpful strategies for couples and co-parents with ADHD often center on creating systems and learning hacks that work with neurodivergent brains rather than against them. This may include using shared visual tools such as calendars, task boards, or apps that support reminders and reduce mental load, as well as breaking responsibilities into clear, manageable steps. Establishing predictable routines while allowing flexibility can support emotional regulation and reduce conflict, especially during high-stress times. For multicultural and gender-expansive families, it can also be helpful to openly discuss how cultural values, gender roles, and family expectations influence communication and decision-making, ensuring that responsibilities are shared in ways that feel equitable, affirming, and sustainable. 

Equally important are relational tools that support connection, repair, and belonging. Practices such as regular check-ins, collaborative problem-solving, and explicit communication about needs and boundaries can help couples stay aligned, particularly when ADHD impacts attention, memory, or follow-through. Seeking out ADHD-informed, LGBTQ+-affirming, and culturally responsive therapy, parenting supports, or group therapy can provide validation and reduce isolation. When couples center curiosity, compassion, and respect for each person’s identities and neurodivergence, they create space for strengths to flourish and for co-parenting partnerships to grow in trust, flexibility, and resilience. 

One intervention that can be especially supportive for neurodivergent couples with ADHD is a structured “capacity and boundaries mapping” practice. This involves each partner regularly identifying and naming their current emotional, cognitive, and physical capacity. Capacity and levels of ability will naturally shift day to day, and it can be highly supportive for the partners to develop skills to clearly communicating what each person can and cannot take on in that moment. Using shared language, visual scales, or color-coded cues (for example, green for high capacity, yellow for limited capacity, and red for overwhelmed) can make boundaries more concrete and easier to understand. When couples practice sharing capacity without judgment and responding with respect rather than negotiation or pressure, boundaries become a tool for care rather than conflict, supporting clearer communication, reduced burnout, and a more sustainable sense of mutual support. 

 Sources 

ADHD Love. (2025, Sept. 10).THE ADHD PARTNER SURVIVAL GUIDE: 10 hacks for a happier relationship. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y_09M8Y_Fc 

CHADD. ADHD and relationships: When love gets lost in translation. https://chadd.org/attention-article/adhd-and-relationships-when-love-gets-lost-in-translation/ 

Devon Adult Autism and ADHD Service. (2024). https://www.justonenorfolk.nhs.uk/media/pthd2c21/adhd-and-relationships-booklet.pdf 

Friedman, H. (2025, Aug. 21). ADHD and Relationships: 5 Strategies to Build Better Connections. https://recovery.com/resources/adhd-and-relationships/ 

Medium. (2024, Jan. 17). ADHD in BIPOC Communities: How Minority Stress Impacts ADHD Managementhttps://dressencerivers.medium.com/adhd-in-bipoc-communities-how-minority-stress-impacts-management-strategies-f770c4820aa2 

Morse-Budling, L. Tools for Neurodiverse/Mixed-Neurotype Couples: Zones of Regulation (emotion communication). (2024, Feb. 7). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voDl_zMGyr8 

Pera, G. (2025, Jan. 5). ADHD & Relationships: Get a Chore-Sharing Game Plan. https://adhdrollercoaster.org/adhd-relationships-get-a-chore-sharing-game-plan/ 

Tschudi, S. (2018, June). Don’t give up: Survival skills for the non-ADHD partner. https://chadd.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Dont_GiveUp.pdf 

TherapyDave. (2025). https://therapydave.com/adhd-relationships-couples-guide/ 

Understood. (2024, July 29). Setting boundaries in relationships with ADHD | Sorry, I Missed This. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_6RPFuyjXM